How this week REALLY went

Let's be honest here. This week has been rough. If you were to ask me in person, I would probably say 'I struggled a bit more but it's all good' when in all reality, it's not good. I really tried to do better on my eating last week and was very disappointed that I didn't lose anything. Granted I am still working on my weekends but I thought I had done ok. But instead I maintained. And that for some reason, really bothered me. So instead of moving past it, and doing better the next week, which is what I usually do, I ended up allowing my emotions to dictate what I ate regardless of how many points it was. I wanted it, I ate it. In fact, I am pretty sure I will gain weight this week. I know what I need to do, I just haven't figured out how to go about doing it. I plan on cutting back/out on sugar and carbs. I don't normally drink any juices anyways so that isn't an issue but I do need to drink more water and probably less Crystal light tea *aspartame is really not good for you!*. I need to stop allowing chips, cookies, junk food to remain in my house and if we have parties, I need to make sure that it goes home with whoever brought it or that Jake makes sure it's at work the next day so it's not here tempting me. I know that cutting out sugar completely wont happen but I also know that if it's not in my house, I would go seek it out and I wont go to the store to seek it out either. Mostly cause now we are doing the cash system for our groceries and we have to watch what we get or no $ for groceries and really, it's a waste of gas to go to the store for something so small. And even when I go buy groceries, I don't buy sugar. It's what is left in my house that I am eating! So, tonight, hopefully, I am doing a kitchen purge and sending it all to work with Jake. Funny thing is, the guys at work love it! They like getting goodies when I purge stuff :P So, here they go! More for them! I know this week was bad, and I know I should not have allowed my emotions to dictate what I eat. That is never a good thing! I know I will have gained this week but I know this so it wont be quite as disappointing to see that number go up. And I also know that I will do better this week. I will make sure I have what I need in place to make sure I do well. And if that means sending the crap to work with Jake and eating nothing but fruit for a week, thats what I will do! I just need to stop eating crap!!

Thank you!

I have been offered so much help that I am almost at a loss for words!! I am hoping to change my diet, it's gonna be hard, but I have to do it! And I got some great advice, tips and help from my neighbor who is also going to train me in her crossfit gym 2-3 days a week *after she gets back from her honeymoon beginning of next month :P* I also have a total of 4 people who has offered to walk with me. Which is awesome! Hopefully I will be able to find a double jogger before that but it not, I will do with what I have till I find what I want :P Thank you all so much for your help, encouragement, and support! It's what I really need!! BTW I didn't gain any but I didn't lose any either. I just maintained. So, on to a better week! My goal? To reach my 5% goal *2 lbs away* and to be at a total of 10 lbs lost *about 4 lbs away* I know I can do it if I stick to my guns!

Don't Beat Yourself Up

Don't beat yourself up. People make mistakes all the time. It's how we react to those mistakes that help us to succeed or fail. I tend to beat myself up when I have eaten something that I shouldn't have eaten. I remind myself all the time as I'm eating it that this is why I'm fat and if I don't change my ways, I will never feel good about myself. Which is true but I'm sure I could go about telling myself that without putting myself down in the process. Why is it so easy for me to give up my one hard addiction of pepsi *13 weeks almost 14!* but so hard for me to eat right and avoid that bad things specially during those times of the month that are hardest for me!! I'm frustrated, I'm tired of dealing with this, and tired of struggling with this on a regular basis! In our class today, we talked about what our motivation for losing weight was. The leader had us write down how we wish we could feel, how to recognize our motivational speed bumps, and what we will use to try to jumpstart our motivation. I wrote that I want to feel good, healthy, powerful and in control. Yeah I want to look good but I want to feel good more and I want to have power and be in control over my food. I dont want it to control me anymore! And I'm hoping that I can exercise more which means getting off my butt and doing it! Which I am going to talk to a friend about watching my kids twice a week so I can go to the gym no excuses! I want to snack more on fruit and less on the junk. And I want to call my mom during those really hard days! I know I can do this. I think I just need more help then I realized. I feel stupid when it comes to food. How to cook it, prepare it, what to buy, what is healthy, how to make it tasty while being healthy. All of that. I dont know how to cook sweet potatoes but I really want to try the fries. I've tried a recipe for baked zucchini chips and that failed and I tried to dry strawberries in my oven and that failed miserably! I'm tired of this being an issue and I'm so frustrated! So, I'm boldy going to do something that I have been fighting for awhile and I'm going to be held accountable by you. If you are up for and don't mind doing it, call me, text me, email me, show up on my door step. I don't care how you choose to do it, just need someone to hold me accountable to eating better and to exercising! I am actually going to try and see if some of the ladies in my church want to start walking weekly, maybe twice a week. I have to do something! I will get this weight off, I will feel better, I will be in control of my food. I will succeed and I know with God beside me, and you encouraging me, I will get over this hump and win this battle! I did gain .4 this week but I have a total loss of 6.6 pounds as of today. I'm about 2 lbs away from losing 5% of my weight so far. Also I am still doing Zumba every tuesday and loving it!! Baby steps....

Yay!

This week was a successful week! I lost 1.6 lbs and that brings my total to 7lbs! Slowly I will get there. I'm really trying to be better at what I am eating and trying not to snack as much. It's an every meal process but I'm slowly getting there! I think this is 14 weeks no pop? I can't remember. It's been so long since I had a pepsi! Don't get me wrong, I still want one, badly but I for some reason am able to tell myself that I don't need it and it's not worth the points. I'm hoping that in July I will be able to drink it again but only when we have parties or go out to eat. No more buying it for the house! And that's only if I lose weight! I'm still doing Zumba every Tuesday and really enjoying it. I do plan on going to the gym but my whole family has been sick. And my kids are still sick and so is hubby! I know some days are harder then others but I'm really happy and proud of myself. I know I can do this. It's just really hard!